Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
