I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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