My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
