well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were trust falling into bushes
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