this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize