I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize