If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
