i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
