Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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