i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
