the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
