Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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