u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
