So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
