You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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