Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize