Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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