dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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