you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
