I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
