apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
