i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
