Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
