Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
