haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Everything about him screamed your future.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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