yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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