I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
