What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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