I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
