I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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