Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
