this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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