Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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