do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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