So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
