a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
