Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
