lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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