how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
