i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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