I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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