what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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