My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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