I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
