I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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