i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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