mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
