theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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