I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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