Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
