i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
