Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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