end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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