Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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