I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
