Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
