I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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