Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
