Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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