he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
