oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
