why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
