Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can u get pink eye on your cock?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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