i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
